Today was difficult. In fact, it stunk like crap.

I woke with an eye-grain. When this happens, the best way to describe it is my eyes see kaleidoscope images like those little tube things we looked through as children and as we turned it, colors would blend and change. Once I see a kaleidoscope, pain is about five minutes away and I have no vision except for the colors. Not a good way to begin the day. I felt my way to the kitchen and took my morning meds which include ibuprofen. It takes about fifteen to twenty minutes to kick in and begin working.

Jeff and company (friends, family) took off the tarps and cleaned the roof today to prepare for new roofing. That progress meant lots of banging and yelling (is everyone deaf?) and lots of throwing of roofing to the ground. The loudest noise was when they would toss down the roll of roofing felt. Sounded like a bomb on the roof. This went on all day and although it was loud, it was one of the sweet sounds of progress. The old roof is gone, it’s on the ground, on the concrete, and in the azaleas, but it’s ready for sheet metal.

My stepson brought a moisture reader with him when he came to help today. The verdict? Complete inside exterior wall gut. Hopefully, no inner walls. I’ve been planning to repaint the walls but new sheetrock was not on my radar. My wood floors are still in question. The bathroom wood floor is beyond repair. We were able to cut the bottom of the linen closet door and salvage it.

Late yesterday afternoon we were pulling shingles out of the azaleas and I found a piece of the scallop from over the porch and showed Jeff. He said they had to take it all down to be able to put in the new flashing and roof. It was then that I looked around where I was standing. Broken scallops all over. I remember when he cut them. I cried. It’s gonna be another cry day. It’s supposed to get worse before it gets better right?

One of my best friends tells me every day that tears are prayers. They travel to God when we can’t speak. I realized I haven’t been having my daily conversations with Him lately, but He knows my heart and He knows I’m struggling and He is there. It’s times like these when I really miss Calypso. I am going to have to think about getting another dog soon. Although she can never be replaced, I need the emotional support she brought to my life.