I was mowing the yard with the tractor. While the task may not sound like all that daunting, add the mower attachment to the back of the tractor, and, well, you begin to get the picture; especially if you are me, Donna, better known as “Lucy.”

In case you have never ridden a tractor, much less cut grass using a tractor with a mowing attachment let me explain a few crucial points of interest. First, ALWAYS begin your turn a long way from the point where you think you need to turn. The mower attachment swings wide, VERY WIDE; imagine a tractor-trailer truck. Secondly, ALWAYS begin your turn early. Thirdly, ALWAYS begin your turn early.

It seems I never did get the hang of those pointers. I tried, really I did. One of the last times my husband allowed me to cut grass I snagged the chain-linked fence. After my initial panic attack, I managed to free the mower from the jaws of the fence to continue mowing the yard. As I finished mowing the yard, my mind was trying to figure out just how I was going to repair the fence so my husband would be none the wiser. Being the creative seamstress I am, I quickly decided it would be a cinch to sew up the fence. It would as good as new and he would be none the wiser. That was probably my second mistake.

The first mistake was thinking I could “sew” the fence. I found some extra wire in the barn and knelt down to begin my magic (wishing at this point that I had Samantha’s wiggling nose in Bewitched.) Mending the fence turned out to be a harder task than I originally thought but I managed to wire the fence back in place better than I originally anticipated. I thought my husband would be none the wiser. I was actually confident (BIG MISTAKE!) It took a few weeks; but, the first time he got on the tractor and made one round of the yard, he found it.

I wasn’t feeling quite so confident at this point, but I was still proud of the job I did.

Then there was the time…

I was mowing and hit the side of the barn. Once again, I thought I did a good job hammering out the dent and hiding it with a barrel (hedging my bets) and thought it my husband would never notice the slight dent (and missing paint.) Yeah, I was wrong again. Shortly after that discovery, I had my tractor license permanently revoked and I was presented with a riding mower. And, just so you know, there are some stories that involve a riding mower as well.