If I only had a brain…

by: Donna McBroom-Theriot/ @MyBookofStories

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         One of my sisters took my mother to have a test run at the hospital this week. It was either a nerve test or a brain test. It escapes me at this moment.

         We already know she has nerve so that may not have been the test. Then, after you look at the picture below, you will see why it must have been a brain test and why this phrase, borrowed from the Wizard of Oz, seems so appropriate: “If I only had a brain”.



After viewing this photo, the after affects of having collided with a curb and using her face as a shield to the – brain? – itleads me to the conclusion that I have inherited my pension for accidents – clumsiness, lack of grace – from my mother. Hence, “If I only had a brain”.

         After I was diagnosed with two rare blood disorders, she was worried that she had somehow passed a defective gene on to me. I assured her that she had not; but she had passed something far worse on to me – clumsiness! It seems as though my grandmother also suffered her share of falls.

         If you recall – and I’m sure you can, but if you can’t, here is the link: My Life. One Story at a Time.: Elderly Entertainment, my mother suffered another fall two years ago. She took a nosedive down the steps attempting to use her head as landing gear. Sadly, I do not have a photo to compare to this one. I assure you that it was just as bad, even requiring stitches.

         I haven’t quite figured out what is Southern about this story, other than some of us Southerners were born without the grace factor that I tend to associate with Southerness. Try as I might, an easy, gracefulness escapes me. Hubby says I prance. I don’t think that qualifies as gracefulness, however, it does qualify for the raison d’être I have suffered my own litany of accidents – bruised rotor cup, dislocated fingers, fractured fingers, injured ligaments, nerve damage to a hand…the list goes on. I remember being called into the doctor’s office and isolated from Hubby while they inquired whether I was being abused or had been abused. The ludicrously of the entire scenario had me laughing hysterically. That may have given them the impression that I was a bit loony. Oh well – at least they didn’t schedule a “brain test”.

         Getting back to my Mother, fortunately, for her, this fall took place at the hospital. She had an entire staff of nurses who came running to her rescue – which reminds me, I still have not figured out where my sister was while all of this was happening. All my mother wanted to do was continue on to her appointment – gotta find out about that brain. The nursing staff had other plans – which included several hours in the Emergency Room and a re-scheduled appointment. Mother is back home, stiff as a board, and sporting lots of bandages.

         Not to be left out of the excitement, my Godfather, her brother, was in an accident Tuesday morning. While driving over an overpass, he rear-ended a truck as he was cresting the bridge, causing a four-truck accident with at least two totaled vehicles. I am now realizing that I forgot to ask why the traffic was stopped in the first place. He’s home and doing fine. He phoned me yesterday and then again this morning. He ended our phone call so his wife could clean and re-bandage his wounds – so he may not be doing so fine at this particular moment; especially if he looks like his sister – and I’ve been told he actually looks worse.


Bumper Cars!

         Aging should not be about competition and comparing wounds – Bumper Cars and Skip the Curb? Will these siblings ever grow up?

         That’s what is going on in the South. What is going on in your neck of the woods (to quote Al Roker)?