The Young Person’s Guide to the Modern World by Richard Daniel Curtis – Book Promotion

 

The Young Person’s Guide to the Modern World

Finding your way in the 21st Century is not an easy ride, there are so many things out there that your parents never had to deal with, it’s hard to find someone to understand. There are pressures put on you from your parents, from school, from your friends and it can feel overwhelming and frustrating.

Technology is fantastic, but every so often you end up having to unpick a mess on social media. Sometimes it is easier to retreat to your room and escape the world, but even then you don’t get left alone.

Life in the modern world is great when it’s all going well, but at the same time it is a bit scary and you wish you knew what to do about some of the concerns you have.

That’s why I wrote The Young Person’s Guide for the Modern World. I originally wrote a book just for parents, but then I realized that it would be far better to talk to you directly. So I rewrote my book for you.

I start by explaining to you the changes that are happening in your brain as you approach adulthood and why these are important to helping you find your own identity. Most of the book is then devoted to going through the different aspects of life, from gender identity and sexuality to gangs, to drugs, to social media and technology. I give you information on the risks related to each to help you to make easier decisions. Finally, I talk to you about the world that you will see in the next 20-30 years, getting you to think about the ways you can prepare for the technology that’s just around the corner.

Want your parent to understand all of these pressures on you? Why not get them to buy The Parent’s Guide to the Modern World.

Purchase on Amazon UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/Young-Persons-Guide-Modern-World-ebook/dp/B06XCFSWJ9/ref=pd_ecc_rvi_2

 

About Richard Daniel Curtis

Based in Southampton with his partner and their young son, Richard Daniel Curtis is an internationally renowned behaviour expert and futurist passionate about helping people understand mindset and psychology. A former teacher, and mental health support worker, Richard is known for his impact with turning around some of the most extreme behaviours and is consulted about adults and children around the globe, even having two assessments named after him. He has founded The Root of It -an organization of qualified professionals available to support schools and individuals with behavioural difficulties- for which he was awarded the Gold Scoot Headline Award in 2015 and Best New Business in 2014. Most recently he launched The Mentoring School to train the psychology related to mentoring people of all ages. For his work and expertise, he has been interviewed for the BBC, ITV and Sky News TV and various international print media and radio. His previous titles include 101 Tips for Parents, 101 More Tips for Parents and 101 Behaviour Tips for Parents (2014) and Gratitude at Home (2016).

Website: http://thekidcalmer.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thekidcalmer

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekidcalmer

The Young Person’s Guide To The Modern World

Excerpt

Peer Pressure

Richard Daniel Curtis

Peer pressure is a huge factor in the teenage years. Technology and social media have amplified the effect of this unrelenting pressure from others. You simply cannot escape it even in your bedroom, the messages still keep coming through. Here’s a short piece on some of the things you should be aware of about peer pressure.

Part of growing up and finding their own identity is a vital part of a young person’s development, particularly during the teenage years. During the teenage years, the brain is rewiring, in a similar way it did when they were a toddler. In middle adolescence, a teenager’s brain starts to connect up the new parts of the frontal lobes and this allows them to reconnect with their own personality. This, in turn, helps them to develop their own personality, belief systems and sense of what is right or wrong.

As they struggle to connect with themselves and their friendship groups, it is easy to become judgemental or unkind to others in a bid to make themselves feel better or be part of a group. The power of the psychology of a group can often result in the same victim being targeted by members of a social circle; with the members of the group wanting to be ‘in’ with the group, this increases the need to be ‘seen’ to be doing what the group wants.

Group minds are created when a few individuals form together to create a social circle of some kind and the members of the group will put aside their own needs for the needs of the group at certain times. At its most basic this can be a relationship, where both people put aside some of their views or beliefs in order to empower the relationship. At its most extreme, we see riots, where a large group of people combine against a ‘common enemy’, such as the government or police. In the latter group particularly we often see individuals risking their own personal safety or beliefs for the common cause. Supporters of sports teams are another example of how group minds work, where one group unites to demean or put down the opposing team through their chants, although on an individual basis many tone down this behaviour and taunt a friend who supports a different team. The human race, like many animals, is driven to be part of a group.

A very simple demonstration of this is a person’s social circle. Imagine the scene: a group have not met up for some time and arrange to meet up for a meal. Now one of the party doesn’t really like the restaurant, but all of the others are really keen, so they agree to go, they do what is best for the group. Whilst there they enjoy talking to their friends, they realize it’s like they’ve never been apart and they’d forgotten how much they loved being with them, how they made them feel. They are careful to make sure they pick something from the menu they enjoy, but it’s never quite how they like it, they didn’t really want to come to this restaurant after all. But they pay and eat it, because they are enjoying the group experience. Humans all forfeit little things to be part of a group, we all feel peer pressure at different times.

What are the risks?

For those teenagers who are feeling low or insecure, this has a huge impact. Their brain is already struggling with reduced reasoning and self-control skills as a result of the rewiring process. They are often desperate to be part of a social circle or group. So very often they have two routes to follow: they either isolate themselves and reject the group, or they submit to whatever peer pressure is put on them to be part of the group.

Rejection from a group can increase the isolation and depression for someone. Many teens choose to avoid this by forfeiting their beliefs to the needs and desires of the group. This combined with the changes in their brain cause a risk-taking type of behaviour where teenagers can seem not to be bothered about the impact of their actions. This can result in bullying, offending or self-injurious behaviour, such as drug or alcohol use.

Dos         

  • Be open to trying new activities, hobbies and experiences to help your brain development.
  • Remember, that your parents will have experienced peer pressure too, it will be different from what you are experiencing (the world is a very different place than when they grew up), but they are still a good place to sound things out.

Don’ts  

  • Deny the emotions you are feeling as you experience social problems, they will feel very real. Try and find something else to do to occupy your mind fully and let the negative emotions fade.

 

 

Follow My Life. One Story at a Time. for future book reviews,

promotions, and giveaways! 

My Life. One Story at a Time. A free book may have been provided by the source in exchange for an honest review. Views expressed by authors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of My Life. One Story at a Time. My opinions are my own. This provided in accordance with the FTC 16 CFR, Part 55. In the state of Louisiana, we are no longer allowed to be Amazon affiliates, therefore the Amazon link is provided for your benefit only. My Life. One Story at a Time. does not collect any affiliate fees.

 

The Parent’s Guide to the Modern World by Richard Daniel Curtis – Book Release

The Parent’s Guide to the Modern World

Raising a child in the 21st Century is scary! There are so many threats to your adolescent that you worry about what they are up to in their bedroom, let alone when they are out with their friends.

The world is so different than when we grew up, young people nowadays have different expectations about life and use so much technology. It’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed at times. Even things that were simple have gotten more complicated, issues like gender identity or sex. It’s hard to know where to start with technology, every time you feel you have a grip on what your child is into, they talk about something else you’ve never heard of.

Life as a parent is overwhelming!

The Parent’s Guide to the Modern World gives you the answers to the worries you haven’t even realized you have. Starting with a section on how your child’s brain develops and explaining why their personality changes so much during puberty. It even helps you to structure any difficult conversations you need to have with your teen or soon to be a teen.

The book then goes through over thirty different aspects of the modern world, telling you about the risks associated with each, plus the dos and don’ts for you as parents. Following this, part three focusses on the predictions for the world your child will be an adult in; helping you to understand the things you can do now to give them the best chances in life. Finally, the book contains a handy glossary of terms your young person might be using.

Worried about how to help your child understand these risks? Why not buy them the sister book The Young Person’s Guide to the Modern World.

Purchase on Amazon UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/Parents-Guide-Modern-World-ebook/dp/B06XCPJ3HZ/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1489618689&sr=1-1

 

About Richard Daniel Curtis

Based in Southampton with his partner and their young son, Richard Daniel Curtis is an internationally renowned behaviour expert and futurist passionate about helping people understand mindset and psychology. A former teacher, and mental health support worker, Richard is known for his impact with turning around some of the most extreme behaviours and is consulted about adults and children around the globe, even having two assessments named after him. He has founded The Root of It -an organization of qualified professionals available to support schools and individuals with behavioural difficulties- for which he was awarded the Gold Scoot Headline Award in 2015 and Best New Business in 2014. Most recently he launched The Mentoring School to train the psychology related to mentoring people of all ages. For his work and expertise, he has been interviewed for the BBC, ITV, and Sky News TV and various international print media and radio. His previous titles include 101 Tips for Parents, 101 More Tips for Parents and 101 Behaviour Tips for Parents (2014) and Gratitude at Home (2016).

Website: http://thekidcalmer.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thekidcalmer

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekidcalmer

 

 Guest Post

The Social Media Divorce – advice for parents of teens

Richard Daniel Curtis

The Kid Calmer and author of The Parent’s Guide to the Modern World

You love your children, you’re a proud parent and you’ve shared their successes (and a few mishaps) on your social media for most of their lives, so why are they now telling you that you embarrass them online?

Teenagers nowadays are referred to as Generation Z, they were born after the millennium and had technology in their hands from birth. Social media has existed in much of their lives and they are used to having instant connections with friends and family all over the world. Certainly, by the time they matured into middle childhood, at the age of 7 or 8, Facebook was becoming a household name. By that time smartphones were widespread, as were digital cameras, so this generation have grown up under the lens of social media.

However, throughout their teenage years, they are very likely to reassess their own image, personality and how the world perceive them. This can lead to the Social Media Divorce…

I use this phrase to describe the process of unpicking and setting new boundaries about images or videos of them and your social media accounts. I always advise parents to build a trusting relationship with their child as they approach adolescence, making that shift from disciplinarian to life coach. Some children want to have completely separate social media lives from their parents, others are content with things as they are, others want to remain connected to their parents and want images or tags removed.

First of all, don’t ignore this, for your child this is huge, dismissing that is likely to make them more determined. You’ll need your child to take the lead on this, ultimately it is about them and you as the parent can always save the digital images rather than have them on social media. You’ll want them to feel comfortable with the arrangements and that you understand them. It’s likely you’ll have this conversation over several days or weeks, but here I’ll go through the four steps to the conversation (or conversations as you have them).

Safety

Initially, you want your child to not perceive you or the conversation as a threat. Maybe you are going to be doing something together, playing a game, walking the dog, cooking. This helps to make sure that the conversation isn’t a face-to-face one. Face-to-face conversations are the hardest to have as instantly you psychologically take opposite sides, whereas if you are both looking at something together then the conversation takes a different tone.

Silence

When helping someone to resolve an issue, or even deal with loss or grief, an important early step is to give them the space to allow their head to sort the thoughts out. Crowding an overwhelmed brain by asking lots of questions, like ‘how do you feel?’, just causes more overload and often causes a defensive response. However, sitting with someone in silence makes it alright to sort those thoughts out, to fit them into the existing schema in our brains and to slot them into the various compartments of our experience. Ask them “how do you feel about us being connected on Facebook?” then remain silent.

Talking

As humans, we are constantly trying to help other people by suggesting what they could do or say; with children, many parents find they even finish their sentences in a bid to be helpful. When faced with an issue, this is not helpful; let the silence grow and as it does and they work out their thoughts, you’ll find you move to the third step when your child asks questions or verbalizes their thoughts. For you, this stage is predominantly listening, with the use of questions for clarifications or for refocus.

Plan

It is only now that you can move onto the final stage, reaching the agreement. This is likely to happen over several conversations, but just like in divorce will involve conversations about the big picture stuff (Am I allowed to be connected to you or follow you? Can I tag you in posts, videos or pictures?), all the way to the more finer detailed things (these are the pictures I want you to remove, these are the things I don’t want my friends seeing).

Remember, it’s an important dialogue to have, even if it’s in parts. Let your child guide the outcomes, whilst you guide the flow conversation. In a few years, they’ll probably enjoy reminiscing and looking through the old photos and videos, however as we all know that whilst a teenager is trying to establish their adult identity they probably want to be in charge.

 

 

Follow My Life. One Story at a Time. for future book reviews,

promotions, and giveaways!

  

My Life. One Story at a Time. A free book may have been provided by the source in exchange for an honest review. Views expressed by authors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of My Life. One Story at a Time. My opinions are my own. This provided in accordance with the FTC 16 CFR, Part 55. In the state of Louisiana, we are no longer allowed to be Amazon affiliates, therefore the Amazon link is provided for your benefit only. My Life. One Story at a Time. does not collect any affiliate fees.