Kissing: A Field Guide by Bestselling author and columnist Violet Blue (Review, Excerpts, Giveaway)

Sometimes words are not enough and the only way to express how much someone means is through the language of a kiss. Kissing is a form of expression and a form of art. Like a dance, it can be a passionate whirlwind of desire, or it can be a sweet and tender harmony between two souls perfectly in sync. Kisses are seals of approval, invitations for more, a reminder of love when words can’t measure up.

A book that will have you grabbing your loved one to practice a few smooches, Kissing: A Field Guide by bestselling author and columnist Violet Blue presents an indispensible guide to everything you need to know about kissing. Learn how to time your kisses, when to receive and give a kiss, and to choose and perfect your own unforgettable kissing style. Recognize when to create tension and take your kiss to the next level. Discover all the secrets and techniques to this overlooked sensual art form and become a master of the kiss.

From the Back Cover:

The Kissing Bible 

Kissing is an art form and Violet Blue shows you every trick for the ultimate lip lock in this indispensable field guide, which includes a foreword by bestselling author William Cane. She helps you choose—and perfect—your own unforgettable kissing style. Learn how to time a kiss flawlessly, how to deliver (and receive) a first kiss, and how to ask for kisses with body language. If you’re tired of being a one-date wonder or want to turn up the heat with your honey, these tips and techniques guarantee confident canoodling. You’ll have all the advantages in the game of love as Violet divulges her secrets for a five-alarm kiss.

Sexy Secrets You’ll Learn Inside:

  • First Kiss Do’s and Don’ts
  • How to Get That Kiss Anyplace, Anywhere, Anytime
  • Kissing Kung Fu and Make-Out Mojo
  • Attraction Accelerators
  • Why Great Kissers Have the Most Fun
Image of Violet Blue

Ms. Violet Blue is an investigative tech reporter at CNET, Zero Day, ZDNet, and CBS News, as well as an award-winning sex author and columnist, making her the foremost expert in the field of sex and technology. She has authored and edited several award winning, best selling books in eight translations. Ms. Blue is on Twitter @violetblue and her human sexuality blog is

Blue has reported on hacking, cyber crime and personal privacy violations in countries such as Malaysia, Germany, Russia, China, the Dominican Republic, the United States, and Serbia. Her work as a journalist has broken many large stories about hacking and cybercrime, affecting the largest online companies and millions of users. Blue is the journalist who broke the story when Anonymous hacked The U.S. Federal Reserve (“The Fed” Bank), the story in which social sharing app Snapchat was hacked and its user database maliciously exploited, and the story when Comcast was hacked and millions of user accounts were compromised. She is also responsible for breaking several critical stories in which Apple iMessage and Apple iCloud were exploited, and when hackers showed how to hack an Apple iPhone in 60 seconds.

Blue has appeared on CNN and The Oprah Winfrey Show and is regularly interviewed, quoted, and featured in a variety of publications that include ABC News and the Wall Street Journal. She has been a sex columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle.

She has been at the center of many Internet scandals, including Google’s “nymwars” and Libya’s web domain censorship and seizures–Forbes calls her “omnipresent on the web” and named her a Forbes Web Celeb. She has given keynote talks at such conferences as ETech.


My Review:

When I was first approached about reviewing KISSING: A FIELD GUID I thought it would be a fun book. Turns out, I was correct.

The book begins with a little test to determine where you fall as a kisser. I thought – what fun! I’ll get Hubby involved in this escapade too! While I won’t go into the questions, I will share a few of the types of kissers.

“If you answered mostly ‘A’, you are Sweet Lips. You’re sweet as sugar, and your kisses are, too…

If you answered mostly ‘B’, you are a Power Puss. Mack Daddy, meet Mack Mama. Your lips like to boogie, but before they hit the dance floor, they like to taste, road test, and compare…

If you answered mostly ‘C’, you are Hot Lips. Your kisses are like a wildfire, and if you have your way, it’ll take a station full of firefighters to control the blaze…

If you answered mostly ‘D’, you are Pure Delicious Poison. Remember supervillainess Poison Ivy? She’s just a shrub compared to you. A kiss from you, blown on the wind, has been known to wilt flowers and make babies cry miles away…”

You’ll be so curious, you’ll want to pick up the book just to take the test!

The book is literally – and take me at my word – a field guide to kissing. There is even a First Kiss Do’s and Don’ts. A few of those are:

“Do smile a lot, even while kissing. Do keep eye contact. Do make sure you have nice breath. Do remember to come up for air. Do start slow…”

There are sections titled “Talented Tongue” and “Mouth Moves”. The book is about kissing and developing your style, plain and simple. It’s a fun, fast read and if you are looking to spice up your relationship – just a little – I recommend the book. Who doesn’t love a hot and steamy make-out session on the couch? At any age? Read it with someone and be prepared for a whole lot of fun!

I am going to give KISSING: A FIELD GUIDE five stars. I love kissing!

Purchase your own copy on Amazon in these formats and enjoy your next kiss!


 I’ve decided to giveaway the copy I received for review. If you would like to be entered to receive your very own copy, just leave a comment with your name and email! I would love if you followed my blog for more stories and giveaways, but to enter, it is not necessary.


My Life. One Story at a Time. is an Amazon advertising affiliate; a small fee is earned when purchases are made at Amazon through the link above. A free book was provided by the source in exchange for an honest review. Views expressed by authors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of My Life. One Story at a Time. My opinions are my own. This provided in accordance with the FTC 16 CFR, Part 55.


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From the Heart – Best Friends

Best – better than all others

Friend – somebody who trust and is fond of another

How do you define best friend?

Do you have one?

Do you want one?

The Girl Friend

          I was having a conversation with my best friend this morning – a texting conversation – and, after completing our conversation, realized just how lucky I was to have such a good friend. I can tell Girlfriend anything and she will not get mad at me, well maybe a little upset at times. My words may not be what she wants to hear, (or I, her) but we respect the other’s thoughts and opinions.

          Girlfriend and I have been besties for a few years now, and because we share many of the same personality traits, we know each other quite well, sometimes too well. And, that can lead to trouble at times. But, on the other hand, we also know how (or when) to push or not push the other’s buttons. 

          We know what will send one of us over the edge causing the other to make a hasty retreat, hoping for a white flag. We tell each other how we see it, even when we know it will be hard to hear. Everyone needs a person like that in their life. We all want to look at life through finger smudged rose-colored glasses and we need someone to take them off every now and then. and clean them. As I told her just recently (before she laughingly accused me of being poetic), I am here to plants seeds of thought, to help clear the cobwebs. That, is what friends do.

         When I have a dilemma, she plays Devil’s Advocate. When Girlfriend is having a problem, I take my turn; and even though I am secure in our friendship, you will sometimes find me hiding out behind the pecan tree because I may have pushed too far and feel her wrath buzzing around my head like a bee. I go in for the sting and then offer sweet iced tea.

         Let me add that texting is an easy way for two people who do not like confrontation, to have a sensitive conversation. Sometimes I come in like a gentle summer breeze, while other times I am like a Southern thunderstorm, like a bull in a china shop. I have no mid-way; I’m either not engaged or full out – nostrils flaring and pawing huffs. There is no doubt you have to be a special person to handle me.

         I have a few other close girlfriends who wander in and out of my life depending on how busy our lives are, but Girlfriend is a constant. Since we met, she has been my girl rock, my girl port in a storm; someone to celebrate achievements with, someone to pick me up when I’m down, cry when I cry, and laugh when I laugh, or make me laugh. We’ve seen each other through some rough patches when we didn’t think the storm would break long enough for the sun to shine through. Those are the times we reached for the other and choose to dance in the rain.

        Let’s just say, here in the South, we take our friendships seriously.

         How about you? Is there someone in your life that you trust with your deepest, darkest thoughts? Do you have a best friend, someone who inspires you? (I’m talkin’ about someone other than Hubby.)

 (Reprinted from My Life. on blogspot 2012)

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From the Heart – What we all long for

         I was reading an email that I received today and it immediately brought to mind my first marriage. The topic was about longing for a person to turn to, someone to defend you, and keep you safe.

Marriage Day
Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)

The reason I thought of my ex-husband was I did not receive this acceptance and love from him. He never defended me, in fact, he often belittled me and told lies about me. I learned the difficult lesson that without mutual love and respect, the relationship does not prosper and grow; it falters.

Maybe I am a little old fashion, but my core beliefs are a husband/wife should love his wife/husband unconditionally. He should be willing to do battle for her – not against her, and above all, he should respect her. This was not what I found in my first marriage. I have heard my ex-husband’s family described as mean. Sadly, I would have to agree. I have bore witness to it on too many occasions; and since the divorce -16+ years ago-, some of the meanness has developed into hatred towards me; and the relationships with my daughters directly affected by the detestation.

When I met my husband -Hubby-, I knew that I would not settle for less than I deserved. Love and respect had to be part of the package, or there would be no relationship. Having gone through a similar marriage and divorce, he felt the same. It was hard for me to trust in the beginning, but with him as a light in my life, I learned how to trust again.

My marriage today is abundant in love, trust, respect, forgiveness, and a faith in God to guide us. Our marriage has been like the bed of roses in my garden. There are beautiful blooms, but there have also been pricks from thorns along the way. With God’s help, we continue to prune the thorns. It is the definition of a marriage blessed by God, and one that nurtures both my husband and myself.

I hope this post leaves you pondering, and I invite you to comment. What is your definition of marriage? Is there something you long for?

Thank you for visiting with me today.



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"You choose your actions, not the consequences"

 There is a saying, “You choose your actions, you do not get to choose the consequences”.

Never is that more true than in divorce.

The reasons, no matter how substantial, cease to matter as time wears on; it is the consequences that live long and prosperous lives.

       It no longer matters that there was abuse, infidelity, lack of love, miscommunication; it is the consequences that linger on. And, it is those consequences that affect everyone, from adults to children, grandparents to godparents, cousins to godchildren.

       I have not written any personal stories on my blog in a while. When your heart is broken, your mind struggles to be happy and that makes it difficult to write, at least it does for me. What made me sit down to write this morning was something that happened this past weekend.

        We attended a family function the other night, and my own deeply guarded pain bubbled to the surface as I watched and listened to the pain of a child, now a grown young man, who was caught up as an extended casualty of a divorce that had nothing to do with him. He didn’t understand when someone he loved dearly suddenly disappeared from his life without a word. The only explanation he was given came from his parents. His anger and hurt got the best of him and he confronted the accused, the one he did not know had been banned from his life due to divorce. As I watched their pain surface, my own pain jerked unchecked from its hiding place once again.

       It is human nature to choose sides when there is conflict present, but what so many fail to realize is that the pain and the consequences of anger linger far into the future, where it has no place. There seems to be a demon present in some people that rears its ugly head to cause a normally sane person to lose all perspective, and anyone who will listen to the lamenting is drawn in.

       Children are often manipulated and lied to in the name of revenge, as adults circle the wagons and prepare to wage war, a war that will affect a child far into the future. Adults choose the action; the children suffer the consequences, most times needlessly. Divorce is an ugly animal. I myself have witnessed this behavior on many occasions, as adults choose not to accept their part in the break-up of a marriage – it does take two to make a marriage, just as it takes two to break up a marriage. It seems to be a little-remembered fact.

       I have seen adults who have finally moved past their pain; neglect to calm the waters (anger) in those around them. Therein lays a huge injustice. I have witnessed this in the lives of people who are close to me repeatedly.

       It is no misnomer that divorce brings anger and pain. It is how we as adults, conduct ourselves, that determines the extended consequences to those around us. Children do not need to become the pawns in the ugly game, but they do more often than not. As adults, we transfer our feelings of hurt, abandonment, and anger onto the shoulders of those who are too young to process the emotions. Children are not born hating, we teach them to hate, to hold grudges, to take sides, to mimic our adult behaviors.

       Never has it been more evident than in my own life, but also in the life of the young man this weekend, a child who lost someone in his young life due to a family divorce. A child, now a grown young man, who when confronted with the opportunity to speak with the person he lost, did not know how to process his anger and hurt. I stood by and watched the pain of two people who were hurt deeply through no fault of their own, struggle to communicate, one young, one older. Hurt knows no bounds. I can only pray that maybe it is not too late for the two of them to perhaps mend the great divide, a divide caused by hurt, anger, and lies. Who knows? Maybe they can overcome the one major obstacle standing in their way. But, to mend one relationship with the truth may mean destroying a trusted relationship built on lies. It is a difficult decision at any age.

       The point of this story – maybe it is to assuage some of my own pain. Maybe it is a plea to others suffering from or causing some of this pain to think twice before they step off into abyss – we, as adults, need to think before we destroy a child’s trust in another human being. I’ll close with this advice: think twice before you circle the wagons and pull out the heavy artillery, there just might not be an enemy.

The views expressed here are my own.

The Seasons of our Lives

      I attended a bridal shower for a friend on Sunday. We’ve known each other for approximately six years. It seems to me that I am always reading stories about friendship and the length of friendships, and I’ve always wished I had that in my life. I am an introvert and tend to spend most of my time alone, therefore not putting myself out there for friendships. Lack of trust is also an issue.
       Then, as my best friend and I were sitting together watching this same friend open her wonderful gifts and having such a great time, tears came to my eyes because as I looked around the room, I realized that I did have that friendship in my life.
       I have a group of four -now five- women in my book club group that I have been friends with for around six years now. We have seen each other through marriage rifts, boyfriend problems, illness, selling houses, buying houses and moving, looking for Mr. Right, divorce, children, and grandchildren. We have become an integral part of each other’s lives.
       As I sat there and watched my friend open her gifts, I thought back to our first conversation -which we still laugh about. It was actually the second time we met and we were sitting next to each other after having served ourselves dinner. I mentioned that I had been reading a cookbook, and she interrupted me, looking at me as though I were a space alien, to ask, “How do you read a cookbook”. I remember thinking, what a snob. I can either make nice or knock the hell out of her. It was a pivotal moment.
       Needless to say, I made nice and we became fast friends. She has since confessed to reading a cookbook or two herself – but that’s a secret. Oh! And by the way – my answer to, “How do you read a cookbook?” was, I always buy the ones with pictures.
       It is funny how life is sometimes. We have gone from “looking for Mr. Right” to finding him, and now marrying him with our friend. We’ve watched a season end and a new exciting one about to unfold. And, as I look at my wonderful friend, surrounded by opened boxes, crumpledtissue paper, fine china, and delicate crystal, I find myself quietly anticipating the chapters still to come in our shared lives.
       Best Wishes Tara for a wonderful married life, and the next season of your life.
Thank you for visiting today.
I hope you’ll follow my blog and return for more stories.

Friendship is a two-way street

This is a post from a blog that I follow. I thought it was something everyone should read and so I’m copying and pasting (I left a note there) to give you the opportunity to read it. The post can be found at


Friendship Is A Two-Way Street.

Posted on December 14, 2010 |

I reckon true friendship is having the freedom to share our deepestthoughts. Unfortunately, many of us choose to take our friendships for granted. True friendship is difficult to find and is even more difficult to keep.  Whilst it is inevitable that our friendships will hit some bumps along the way.

We should realize that we have our shortcomings and should be willing to forgive and forget. Perhaps in a split second whenever possible. Then, there are those who tend to see their lives through a narrow perspective. Thus, there’s nothing better than opening our minds to the possibility that there are always unavoidable circumstances and it have nothing to do with ill feelings.

Perhaps, our lives should not be so harried so much so that we do not have the time to be genuinely friendly. Reach out, try a little kindness and brighten someone’s life every day. And you will soon realize how special a little focussed attention can make you feel.

“The greatest gift is neither found
in a store nor under a tree,
but in the hearts of our true friends.”

“Friendship is when people know all
about you but like you anyway.”

“True friendship is based on trust, honesty
and sincere generosity of our hearts.”

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

“Wherever you are,
it’s your friend
who make your world”

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world,
and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.”

“Every gift from a friend
is a wish for your happiness

Friends are God’s gift to help us along our life’s path. They love us, laugh with us, comfort us and encourage us. Learn to appreciate the value of a good friend. As true happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice.

It is said in a lifetime, it would be extraordinary to have acquired five real friends – the five individuals who are willing to stick it out through the years – sharing our sorrows and joys, taking the good with the bad, forgiving and being forgiven.

Friendship is like a two-way street. Sometimes you need to call on your friends for help and sometimes they will call on you. Very simply, take turns giving and receiving support. You see, if you are not willing to give, you will never have a strong, centered friendship.

“One measure of friendship
consists not in the number of things
friends can discuss,
but in the number of things
they no longer mention.”

“Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation
if you really are friendly with somebody.
You can’t have too many friends because
then you’re just not really friends.”

“Friendship with oneself is all important,
because without it
one cannot be friends
with anyone else in the world.”

Believe in the best of people in spite of everything. Before doubting your friends, give them the benefit of the doubt. Do not make a mountain out of a molehill. And strive to be humble as everyone has faults. Because what is important is to keep our friendships on good terms than to be proven “right.”

Lastly, the secret to being a good friend is really the key to having good friends. Being friendly is contagious …………………………. so start an epidemic. And be mindful, friendship is a two-way street.



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