My Crazy Life – November 25, 2011 – Lucy gets a vacuum

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. The noonday was spent with Hubby’s family and the evening was spent with my family. My nearest and dearest cousins came over for dinner, and you just know that when Kelly and I get together, there is going to be some sort of incident. Especially since the question of the day became, “How many fingers am I holding up?” The wine was flowing long before dinner ever made it to the table.

After gallons of delectable seafood gumbo, delicious potato salad, and scrumptious pecan pie had been devoured, it was time for the technology to rear its ugly head. Kelly was attempting to log on to my wireless network as a guest. No big deal, you say. Not for anyone else, but you have to remember, this is ME! He was the one who set up the network and was there when I chose the oh-so-easy to remember passwords. That is where things went terribly wrong. I could not remember the password, and I could not remember where I wrote it down.

So, (and this is where things went to hell) we went into my office and he pulled up the information on the computer. Did I mention that Kelly is my technology guru? Unfortunately, for him, I do not hesitate to try anything because I know that he is just a phone call away. We changed the guest password to something new (and easy) and I wrote it down – this time in a place where I know I’ll be able to find it. THEN, I get the bright, brilliant, eluminating idea to change my regular password. We changed the password and a message came up stating that an update was available for the router. That was when everything went to hell. Technically, since it was Kelly who clicked the yes, he sent everything to hell, BUT I will take credit because it was my idea to mess with something that wasn’t broken in the first place. Do I get points from the Good Fairy for that?

Me, being ME, cannot stand for something to be broken and not try to fix it on the spot, rather than wait until the next day – which normally makes so much more sense… So, as soon as the cousins were out of the door and safely on their way, I called the 1-800 to nowhere number and began a two-hour consultation/fix-it session. I unplugged and plugged, unplugged and re-plugged in different places. I moved the blue cord to the yellow cord and back again. I disconnected from the power source and re-connected, and did that again, and again. I did this repeatedly for almost two hours before the CISCO light became solid again.

The technician asked me what other wireless devices I was using and when I told her I had a Kindle, she wanted to know all about the Kindle because she wants to get an e-reader. I did not want to discuss e-readers! I did not want to discuss prices of e-readers and how she could not afford one (which by the way I was baffled by because I would think that computer techs make enough to purchase a Kindle. There is one for $79.) Finally, she was back on track to fixing the problem.

She then had to connect to my computer to be able to roam around in it. My mouse fascinated her – it is a heart with little hearts beating out it. I was about to scream by this time. I had been crawling on the floor under my desk plugging and unplugging cords and power strips, I did NOT want to discuss the heart on my computer. Thank goodness, and after a $39 fee, my wireless router was updated and working properly. All was not well, but ended well.

Hubby was supposed to leave for the hunting camp first thing this morning so instead of hopping into the shower; I decided to wait until he left. That way, I could visit with him a little longer. This is prelude to a lesson I learned later in the day, so you need to know what I look like in the morning. It is nothing to be proud of and I would put the house in hock to keep pictures of me off the internet. It’s that bad. This morning was no exception. When I get up in the morning, I throw on the oldest pants I can find along with the oldest shirt in the pile because I am going outside to feed the dogs. Experience has taught me to do this. Calypso and Ryka always hear me rummaging around in the garage, fixing their dinner, and can be found sitting at the door when I open it. Calypso has never failed to jump on me, no matter how many times I tell her to sit. This means I end up with muddy prints on whatever shirt I have on.

Hubby ended up piddling around until lunch, which means I didn’t take my shower in the morning. After he finally left, it was too late for me to run the errands that I had planned, and I just wasn’t in the mood anymore. What this means is I didn’t take my shower right away and we all know what that means. I am famous for getting sidetracked and today was no exception. I sat down at my desk and decided to finish all of the pending work I needed to do.

Then, just as I was finishing up my work and thinking about taking a shower, cousin Kelly decides to remember that I had asked him to show me how to Face Time – YESTERDAY – not today when I look like crap. My phone started ringing – or playing a little Creedence Clearwater Rival. When I picked it up, I could see my cousin and then my picture in the corner. I was totally confused. I assumed Hubby had started to miss me and was calling and this just totally freaked me out. I forgot that I hadn’t taken my shower and looked like crap, so I answered the phone. So, I sat there for the next half hour having a conversation wishing I had a bag to put over my head.

Let this be a lesson to all of you folks out there, get up in the morning and take your shower – FIRST thing – because you just never who is going to call! It was not a pretty sight that greeted my cousin! Just ask him!

Did I mention that I purchased a new vacuum? Then, let me tell you. I purchased a new vacuum and I swear it must be self-propelled! It is also huge and purple! And, when I turned that stinker on, it took off with me in tow. Picture The Jetsons cartoon. My perfect coiffured hair was blowing in the wind, the sun at my back…okay, it wasn’t that wild a ride.

When I vacuumed the huge rug that covers the bulk of our bedroom floor, it was so bright! I guess my other vacuum must have been laughing at me, especially when it would blow dust at me each time I turned it on to vacuum. I have figured out that there is no place for the dust to settle when you do not have carpet – hence all the dust that has taken up residence in my home. I guess my carpeting hangs on the wall in the form of curtains! I love to clean (especially when you see the results) and this vacuum and me are having one hell of an affair at the moment! I am definitely in love.

I know – what about the dogs. There has to be a dog story here somewhere. You are correct. Calypso now has a new name, “Pig Pen”. Remember Pig Pen with his cloud of dust from Charlie Brown; that describes Calypso exactly. She came out of her little spot in the flowerbed to greet me earlier today and when she shook, dust went flying like a cloud. I had to dust off my pants. I just cannot get her to stay clean. She loves being a dog.

Calypso is also a muddy mess right now, sleeping peacefully like the puppy she is. Earlier, I observed some peculiar behavior. She went out of her way to walk AROUND a water puddle to climb into her water bowl. Ever since she was a puppy, she has always put her front paws in the water bowl when she drinks. Why she skirted the puddle baffles me. I just laughed. She’s my dog!

Then, there is poor Ryka. Every morning when I put their food in the kennel, she looks at me, looks at the water bowl, and hangs her head as if to say, “It’s muddy again.” So, every morning, I dump the muddy water out and fill it with fresh, clean, cool water. Ryka always looks at me with such adoration when I do this little task. I think she knows she is loved.

One last thing; according to all of the emails that have been flooding my inbox as of late, I am a millionaire many times over. Hold the applause please. So, if you have something other than peace and good will on your Christmas list this year, feel free to leave a comment on my blog with your request!